I Didn’t Want to be a Boy Mom- Part 2

*If you didn’t read part 1, read that first here

In the Fall of 2016, we were packing up our house to move to Mexico. This had been a desire for my husband and I- to take a year and immerse our kids in the Mexican culture and the language. We had been trying to get pregnant for about 18 months. Finally, we decided that it was time to move on and we began to give away our baby items. I scheduled a physical just as a step of something to do before we moved to another country. My doctor informed me that everything was fine. She joked that maybe I just needed to go to Mexico, relax on the beach and I would get pregnant. 3 weeks later I was in her office for my 1st pregnancy visit.

And there I was, pregnant. It was the start of another emotional roller coaster. Our plans to go to Mexico for a year were adjusted to be just a few months. The internal fears and worries had started as well….will this baby be okay? Will I have another miscarriage? And of course the big question- Could this baby be a girl?

It’s the question that is always there after having two boys. It’s the question that I didn’t want to linger on for too long. My mama heart wanted to stay neutral to this question that I had no control of. It felt dangerous to even go there. On one side, it seemed like I didn’t enjoy being a mom to the two boys I already had. On the other side, I was hopeful to maybe have a little girl to keep me company in a house full of boys.

My response as people’s questions began was turning to humor. When someone would ask, “Do you want a boy or a girl?” I would respond, “Either one is fine. It’s not like a vending machine where you can put in some coins and make a selection.” People would usually laugh and we’d move on in the conversation. But inside I was afraid to admit that I had a great desire to have a daughter.

It was time for the ultrasound, yes the one where they usually can tell you the gender. I was on the table and as I looked around the room I saw my husband, and my two sons. We were all eagerly awaiting the results. The moment came so quickly after so much anticipation, the doctor said, “It’s a boy!” And of course I had no doubts because I had already gotten use to recognizing “the third leg” in the picture.

My journey of accepting my role as a Mom of Boys has had it’s ups and downs. I have had to ask God to show me how to raise boys again and again. I have read books about raising boys. And I have even had to grieve the little girl I never had. (More on that in another blog 😉

I believe that God gives us the kids that we are meant to raise whether by birth, adoption or being a support to the parents. If you have a boy in your life-give him a little grace. Smile and laugh with him when he farts and you will have a buddy for life. Be on the watch for the moments where you get a glimpse into their tender heart because- yes!- their hearts are so tender.

So I didn’t want to be a mom of ALL boys and that’s okay to admit. I still love my three sons so much! I wouldn’t change any of it- well maybe less farts!


Choosing My Family Instead of Social Media

Last week I was going strong on my social media sites. I was excited about getting this new blog up and started. I was sharing my FACEBOOK page with my friends and inviting them to follow it. I was posting stories on Instagram and learning how to interact with my followers.

Suddenly it was Thursday. I found myself sitting on the couch in the living room with my cellphone in my hand. I was scrolling everywhere I could and supposedly watching a movie with my three kids and my husband.

I was being “efficient” and trying to get things done while we were spending supposed quality time as a family. Suddenly I felt a little hand take my phone away. My first response was to get upset. “No! You can’t play that dino game that you always ask for!”

Then time suddenly froze. My 2 year old, put my phone off to the side and put my hand in his. My heart melted. My child didn’t want to play with my phone, he wanted to hold Mommies’ hand while he watched the movie.

I can’t remember what we were watching, I only remember the desire I saw in my little boy’s face to be with his Mommy. That look sent my heart into a tail spin.

I knew in that moment that as I start out on this journey of blogging and learning social media I need to set boundaries. I do not want my family to suffer so that my number of followers will soar.

I will always choose him!

Once I read an article from Focus on the Family that talked about how to connect more with your kids in a world focused on technology. I thought about this article as I sat there beside my son.

The article talked about how many kids say they can’t open up to their parents because the parents are too busy and they are always on their phones.

This is not the reality I want in my family. I want my boys to know and feel that they are more important than anything that could be on a screen.

It was hard for me to not post pics this weekend of our Quarantine Easter. I may still post some but I made a decision last week to enjoy the moments with my family without always having a camera in my hand.

I will need to make a schedule and routine of when to write blogs and to post on Instagram so that I can keep things under control.

I know that just like any hobby or business there will be busier seasons. There will be times where I invest my time to work ahead and schedule posts so that I can be ready.

I will still invest in this dream that God has placed on my heart. This dream of encouraging other moms in this epic journey of raising boys.

What are you doing in your family to keep healthy boundaries with electronics and screen time?!?